Introduction
Without a doubt, it can be difficult to have your past lingering in your present. If you are someone who has experienced issues in dealing with emotions or attachment, then you might have mommy issues.
Mommy issues can negatively impact several areas of your life.
Keep reading to find out more about mommy issues.
What does Mommy Issues Mean?
Clearly, mommy issues are associated with mothers, but it is more than that. Mommy issues refer to the emotional, social and attachment-related difficulties that originate due to your relationship with your mother. This means that all mommy issues are related to how you were mothered as a child.
Although childhood issues do have an impact on adulthood, mommy issues specifically come from the early childhood years. As an infant is born, if the mother is unavailable emotionally or otherwise, the child will develop mommy issues in adulthood.
Even though mommy issues stem from the early years, they can have a varied impact in adulthood. Particularly, they can differ in how they manifest in gender. While men’s relationship with their mother foreshadows their relationship with women figures in their life. Women might have self-image-related concerns.
Symptoms of Mommy Issues
As mentioned above, mommy issues can be subjective and vary depending on several factors. If you want to identify them, then they require a deeper level of understanding. Also, below mentioned are some common underlying symptoms of mommy issues that can be simpler to identify.
Self Image
One of the most common impacts of mommy issues is a negative self-image of the child. In early childhood, a child who experiences rejection due to abandonment or abuse from the mother develops a detrimental view of self. Since mothers are the first window to the outside world, a child who receives criticism starts to believe it as an adult. A negative self-image includes having low confidence in self, internally criticising self and so on.
Emotions
Ideally, a mother should help a child learn to feel secure in the surroundings and give space to express feelings. Nonetheless, mothers who fail to do so effectively lead to emotionally unstable adults. Adults who are unable to regulate their emotions, instead, feel overly dependent on their mothers or other adults, reflect a negative childhood. Such children would often react overtly to get their mother’s attention and, therefore, experience intense emotions as adults.
Romantic Relationships
Likewise, infants learn about love and affection from their mothers. If the mother fails to provide affection and love to the child, the child becomes insecure about receiving affection. Such infants, when they grow up, have insecurities related to their romantic partners. Not only do they have difficulty feeling secure, they have trust issues with their loyalty as well. This happens due to not having security about receiving love as a child.
Causes of Mommy Issues
As mentioned above, the early years of a child decide whether, as an adult, you will develop mommy issues or not. There can be several reasons why a child might develop mommy issues.
Parental Separation
In essence, children whose parents divorce during the early years of their life can go through significant upheaval in all aspects of their upbringing. If the child is separated from the mother in the initial years and there is no other mother figure, the child develops mommy issues as an adult. Similarly, if you lost your mother in the early years of your life, you might face identical difficulties.
Abuse and neglect
Furthermore, in the scenario where mothers are present but fail to provide emotional safety and affection to the child, mommy issues originate. In childhood, physical or verbal abuse and emotional neglect can seriously impact the mental health of an individual. Such individuals as a grown-up will have mommy issues and other mental health difficulties due to a rough childhood.
Poverty or circumstantial issues
Lastly, for families below the poverty line, mothers have difficulty in providing adequate care for their children. This happens mainly as the mothers are busy providing basic facilities to their children by working overtime at home or outside.
Similarly, families belonging to a war stricken area, floods or any other natural calamities have difficulty being present for the children. Children growing up in such environments undergo detrimental effects on their well-being.
Overcoming Mommy Issues
As discussed, resolving issues caused due to mommy issues can be challenging. Nevertheless, working on yourself can definitely reduce the influence of mommy issues. Furthermore, with consistent effort, the issues become manageable.
Identification and Acceptance
Firstly, to work on any personal concerns, there has to be some level of insight involved. The process of identifying the impact of mommy issues and accepting that you have mommy issues is tough. Primarily, acceptance that your early childhood had difficulties and that your mother has something to do with your struggles is important.
Introspection and Awareness
Secondly, once you have accepted that you have mommy issues. Notice and record where and how they manifest. You may observe or only find some issues that are caused by mommy issues. Whereas it can take significant awareness and work to figure out all the possible ways you are impacted by mommy issues.
Professional help
Thirdly, in spite of best efforts, figuring out and managing these concerns on your own can be tough. Instead, do not hesitate to reach out to a professional for help. Trained psychotherapists and counsellors can help you identify, become aware and provide coping skills to deal with mommy issues. They can also help you identify how they are manifesting in your current life.
Conclusion
Conclusively, mommy issues can deeply impact our relationship with ourselves and others. Also, the ability to identify where and how they manifest in your life becomes essential. Finally, overcoming mommy issues is possible and requires addressing the concerns.
In essence, mommy issues can be difficult to deal with. Find out more about how mommy issues impact men and women differently. As mentioned, reaching out for professional help is constructive. To reach out to training providers who provide care, connect with United We Care App.
References
[1] E. Ali, N. Letourneau, and K. Benzies, “Parent-Child Attachment: A Principle-Based Concept Analysis,” SAGE Open Nursing, vol. 7, p. 237796082110090, Jan. 2021, doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/23779608211009000.
[2] N. E. Doinita and N. D. Maria, “Attachment and Parenting Styles,” Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences, vol. 203, no. 203, pp. 199–204, Aug. 2015, doi: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sbspro.2015.08.282.
[3] M. Bosquet Enlow, M. M. Englund, and B. Egeland, “Maternal Childhood Maltreatment History and Child Mental Health: Mechanisms in Intergenerational Effects,” Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, vol. 47, no. sup1, pp. S47–S62, Apr. 2016, doi: https://doi.org/10.1080/15374416.2016.1144189.
[4] “Mommy issues: Definition, symptoms, and do I have them?,” www.medicalnewstoday.com, Oct. 31, 2022. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/mommy-issues#Other-effects (accessed Oct. 28, 2023).
[5] M. Gilligan, J. J. Suitor, and K. Pillemer, “Estrangement Between Mothers and Adult Children: The Role of Norms and Values,” Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 77, no. 4, pp. 908–920, May 2015, doi: https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12207.
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